Midlife Crisis: a period of emotional turmoil in middle age characterized especially by a strong desire for change. One could say given the life expectancy these days, that reaching the ripe age of 50 is the exact center of your life. You realize that your past stretches further behind you than perhaps your future will. When I started my 50b450 experiment three years ago, all I wanted was to focus on doing things I’d been saying for years I wanted to do. Its amazing what twists and turns, ups and downs, the universe will send your way when you start to get serious about making plans. That great energy that guides us may start sending you on a zig, and then suddenly throw in a zag. And so, this is how we arrive at my current situation. Back in December, right around Christmas Eve, I received a call somewhat out of the blue from an old friend. We were both in interesting emotional spaces and needing some major change. He asked if I would consider moving to Nicaragua full time, and I, off handedly, said “sure”. The reality was I didn’t think I’d hear from him again, and hell, its always nice to have something to dream about! Well fast forward to seven months later, and I’ve sold my house, packed things into a storage unit, drove my car across the country to leave in North Carolina with family and I’m celebrating my three week anniversary of living in a condo at Hacienda Iguana on the Pacific Coast of Nicaragua with my friend and his sixteen year old son. Whew!!! Change always comes with an interesting cocktail of feelings, and hormonal changes in the mix adds that extra little spice. Throughout the process I’ve gone through anxiety, excitement, sadness, melancholy, insecurity, euphoria and so many more that I probably couldn’t even name. I’m still working through many of these, and most likely will be for awhile. Its interesting how you can dream of laying around and having little to no responsibilities, but when you’re really faced with the endless days of a blank calendar it’s a bit panic inducing. So ironic!
One thing that has been consistent in my personality is a need to have goals and a plan. This is the first time that I have taken the proverbial leap with no idea of what might be at the bottom of the cliff. I’ve been lucky enough to be given the opportunity to take some time off from being worried about an immediate income and I don’t take that lightly. I’m extremely grateful to the people and circumstances that have led to this sabbatical. With that comes the need to balance out the drive to not waste the time and making sure to truly relax and embrace the peace. As I write this, I’m sitting out on my patio staring at the golf course and appreciating the light breeze blowing the multitudes of colorful butterflies around the palm trees. My time here is just starting and I have lots to learn…Spanish, surfing, how to properly cut a mango and most importantly how to completely relax!
1 Comment
|
Archives
October 2018
Categories |